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Tuesday, January 5th, 2010
neverwhiteroses
|
12:52p
.fear the flow.
my friends Kenny (Melissa's boyfriend - there's pictures of him in my last entry :) ) and Zimbo are in a video On Demand -> Free -> Music -> Urban. rockin' it out.
this is a video of us jamming a week ago :)
The Jam #1
The Jam #2
i'm really fucking proud of them and this song is phenominal
long beach represent!
support and share the love!
♥
last night was absolutely insane
i have a huge headache and i love talia and i love chris and i love raelie
confessions, confessions, confessions
sigh
life is jdfklasjfklajkfa
i lovelovelovelove everything
:D
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Monday, January 4th, 2010
Sunday, January 3rd, 2010
neverwhiteroses
|
5:32p
.feel-good foreign comedies.
i am making banana/guinness/walnut/vanilla bread.
there's still a half an hour to go but the whole apartment smells like a country kitchen ♥
possibly talia and definitely ali are coming over later.
i'm taking pictures either way :)
raelie is playing with ice cubes.
i just read over a bunch of texts and my friends love me and i love them so much it makes me sickeningly happy.
i'm watching this documentary on meth and i'm so, so, so happy that i have never done drugs. i watched
last night with chris and was contemplating hallucinogenics (not doing them. just the idea of them). i think i like the concept of LSD because it was an accident and it changed an entire generation. i like that. i like that a lot.
it made me fiiiiiinally want to read my copy of Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail. i'm gonna do that tonight before bed.
i cleaned up and rearranged and decorated my room with some drawings.
once my bread is done i'm going to paint.
my next paycheck i'm gonna get my hurr did.
these are what i have narrowed it down to, colourwise:
( hurrzzz )
who else doesn't wanna go to work tomorrow?
( raise your hand )
.
somewhere, somehow, i do hope he's okay.
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Saturday, January 2nd, 2010
neverwhiteroses
|
12:34p
.time for trust.
my whole life is full of so much promise and love
i read an email from nicole this morning
i truly wish 2010 is better than any year you've had so far<3. i'm incredibly sad&sorry to think of all of the people and circumstances that have tried very hard to break your faith, but the amazing thing is,
not only do nearly any of those people or circumstances not have the effect they used to on you, if any at all, but that its not come anywhere near the amount of strength and love you have within yourself, and also from others<3
i think that when you have such manipulative, controlling people in your life for so long, your view on things becomes absolutely skewed. often times i felt like i was drowning, with no oxygen left to form my own thoughts or have my own time or enjoy my own things. it takes a long time to see where you have gone to and decide if you want to be there. even longer to decide that it has made you unhappy and you don't. since i realized that i was a little lost i have been so productive and happy and affectionate and honest and open. it's hard to be a truly independent person sometimes, until you realize that really, it's not. there's a good feeling in missing somebody and there's a great feeling in getting rid of somebody and recognizing that even friendships can be detrimental and loving somebody doesn't mean that they belong in your life. discovering that you cannot trust everyone is hard to swallow but totally necessary; i'm so glad that i can recognize it and have the confirmation that eventually everybody gets what they deserve to and life lessons come around.
as usual i have almost no time to breathe, but i love my friends and i love cuddling and i love waking up to raelie and other people's cats and i love kissing and i love dancing and taking photographs and warm baths and being naked.
i love music and the murlyn group and sweden and i love 2010 and mimosas and green tea and warmth and girls and big strong boy arms and being able to love everything, with everyone, and cleaning up my room.
i am so happy and so grateful and so giddy and so excited
and
i can finally share it with everyone
( helter skelter and the adventures of tex watson's unadulterated lovemonster )
i feel like the most beautiful soul on the planet
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Friday, January 1st, 2010
Thursday, December 31st, 2009
soulhaus
|
5:09p
i found a mouse!!!
her name is torrea... and i shall be raidning her closet soonly!!!!!!!!! <3
oh, the excitement!
a whole closet of clothing i've never seen before,
full of sassy and sexy and fun and funky outfits galore!
MEEEP!!!
....cinderelly, cinderelly... (what the hell do the mice say after that in the song, anyway? O.o)
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Wednesday, December 30th, 2009
soulhaus
|
3:32p
ok, ok, allow me a moment of superficial girly blabber...
originally, for NYE, we had many ideas. the thing i wanted to do the most though was an event in san diego that we later learned cost $50..
a person!
$100 for the two of us!
which is.. far, far out of our price range for an evening of revelry, especially if we're paying that much money after having to drive 6+ hours from our house.
so we put it out of our mind, and contemplated other fun things to do.... all of which seemed like a-ok ideas but then..
then i learned that the ancient gallery was going to be at the original even, the ball let's call it, and that was the "straw that broke the camel's back".
my heart dropped into my stomach knowing that not only would i miss spending NYE with all of the san diegans i love so very much, but i'd also be missing a full installation (1600 sq ft!) of one of my favorite art exhibits.
then...
well, magic.
our fairy godmother swooped in and said, "excuse me? you're NOT going to the ball? and why, my dear children, is THAT?"
and we said, "because we cannot afford it, although our hearts will be there, and sometimes you have to accept that you can't have everything you want."
our fairy godmother nodded her head in understanding, and then said, "however, this time, this time your wish is my command!" and with a biggaty-bling, we were put on the guest list, and the dream of attending the ball has come true!
and now, very much like cinderella, we now have our invite, but alas... i have nothing to wear! where are my magic mice to make me a mystical dress! it's a formal-type event, "abnormal formal" specifically, and i realized...
although i may have many "abnormal" clothes... when it comes to formal.. i have...
....
......
.........yeah. O_o
oh, NYE, you always plague me so.
i put an odd importance on what i'm wearing into the new year, as though it should be symbolic of the year to come, and here i am, flipping through all the clothes in my closet and thinking...
GODDAMIT.
bah! BAH!
mice! where ARE you?!? O_o
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neverwhiteroses
|
3:06p
.digging up that ancient history.
okay
i cant hold it in anymore.
enemy got picked up!!
first the management company is pitching it to gaga in florida on NYE.
then, who knows.
"big projects" is about all they could tell me.
i can't play it for anyone until then which sucks. :/ it's really freaking awesome and i'm SO proud of it.
showed it to mom and some friends, who loved it. :)
i'm so happy. it feels like doing theater and getting picked for the lead but like x69043690436903 million!! it's the best giddy feeling in the whole wide world.
life is wonderful.
i am very secure and contented.
i feel like i am giving spiritual advice on the daily just by breathing.
talia is home.
she's my new years date
and i could not be happier.
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Tuesday, December 29th, 2009
Monday, December 28th, 2009
soulhaus
|
9:22p
erm, i'm supposed to be working.
however, i've realized that tech writing/editing is way hard when i've been drinking.
therefore.. quck xmas pics! :D
(flickr hosted, of course!)
me n' the fudge, running like the ecstatic beach fools that we are.
...and then, caught by surprise by waves licking at my bare tootsies,
jumping and reeling in happiness and joy. oh oh oh oh oh - and the sweater?
one of my faaabulous christmas presents from my supah faaaabulous husband! :D
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soulhaus
|
6:26p
(ahhhh... home internet. ;))
today, matt became officially... dread-less.
pictures of the process, and results, soon.
but in the meantime... i hope everyone had a loverly yule, or solstice, whichever you might identify with, if any at all...
and i'm wondering...
are you scared, excited, or indifferent for 2010? ♥ :)
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neverwhiteroses
|
1:47p
crazy crazy
did Enemy yesterday from 1-4:30. my voice got a work out. producer offered to pay for voice lessons if i have the time.
it's a final exam every day.
music on the bus, on the subway, on the train
music on the walk to penn
running into old friends, carrying a beer and talking
musicmusicmusic
some man asks if i sing
asks to hear
hears
asks if he can invest in me.
investments
that's all i've been making
that's all everyone's been making in
me.
they walk me to my train and we talk about the wake.
i say, i didn't cry until kate cried.
i didn't touch anyone until i touched her
shoulder.
he asks if i've seen jj.
i say, yes
he cried right next to me
i put my head on his shoulder but
nothing
helps.
music on the train ride
to melissa.
i saw her the day before
while he sat in a corner and
drank beers
not saying what he wants to.
i hug melissa so hard i almost crack.
loveyouloveyouloveyou.
talia texts us that she's jealous.
two days.
went to the studio with kenny
they were jamming and i sang, sang, sang
making up words and rhymes and slurring
about love and lust.
they played until the bass strings broke
and the cymbals fell off.
brian says, i wish i wasn't
going back to school.
we've been looking for you.
melissa squeels and they start to video
tape.
i gotta go home
raelieraelieraelie.
before i leave she says
i miss you so much.
we both need baths and he says
can i see you.
sure, sure
even though i have been
uncomfortable
alone
with people
(?)
i ask how i can help him.
he contradicts himself once and twice and
insists it makes sense.
melissa was right.
you're an incredible person, tara.
does one thing and says another.
raelie snores on my chest and i wake up
almost late
for life.
.i have barely taken photographs.
rush into the day with
music on the way to work.
( respect and honesty )
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Sunday, December 27th, 2009
neverwhiteroses
|
11:41p
.music music music everywhere.
.someone mistook me for taylor warren on 67th street and park.
maybe some day
bitch is fierce
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Thursday, December 24th, 2009
soulhaus
|
11:28p
christmaslights
so, every year (it seems) they house a block down from us does, an amazing xmas lights display, accompanied with music (shortwave broadcast on 105.5) and it's.. well, it's bloody awesome.
here's a quick little video of this year's display!
merry christmasssssssss!!!!!!!!!
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soulhaus
|
11:18p
me n' the best men, showing off my ring ♥
|
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